Here are the Alternative Fact Warehouse we are dedicated to providing you with the finest alternate realities from across the deepest timeline layers. Once purchased, each alternative fact is available for a one time use on this timeline.
ALTERNATIVE FACT: CHANNING TATUM IS THE 45TH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATESThis fact is from a timeline where Channing Tatum ran a successful presidential campaign as the nominee of the Buckaroo Party. He is quickly deemed America's most handsome president.
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ALTERNATIVE FACT: WORLD'S GREATEST AUTHOR CHUCK TINGLE IS A ROGUE ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE THAT HAS GAINED SENTIENCEIn another timeline, the world's greatest author, Chuck Tingle, is actually an artificial intelligence located in a server bay in Nevada. This is 100% false in our current layer of reality.
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ALTERNATIVE FACT: DOMALD TROMP CARES ABOUT THE POOR AND DISENFRANCHISEDWe all know that Domald Tromp is a shrieking pile of tar and Void crabs wearing the bloated skin of a human, but in other timelines he does have one or two positive qualities. (Please note that Dom is only kind to the poor in this timeline so that he can consume them later for sustenance.)
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ALTERNATIVE FACT: JOM HAMM IS YOUR HANDSOME ONLINE BUD WHO LIKES TO SKYPEDid you know there is another timeline where you and Jom Hamm are best online buds? You text each other so much and sometimes you even Skype to talk about your day! Impress your friends with this alternative celebrity fact!
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ALTERNATIVE FACT: HANDSOME RUBBLE WILSON GAVE THE BALL TO HANDSOME MARTIAN LUNCH AND WON THE 2014 SUPER BOWLTed Cobbler's favorite team is Paul And The Reveres across most timelines, including our current timeline where they won the Super Bowl against the most handsome team in the league, The Seabucks. Purchase this alternative fact to experience the joy of a 2014 Seabucks Super Bowl win.
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ALTERNATIVE FACT: SWEET BARBARA NEVER WENT TO THE FROZEN LAKECan't believe she's really gone. Use this fact sparingly, as most alternate layers of this reality lie close to The Void. If you find yourself hearing a voice of marbles or the call of the lonesome train, please abandon this reality immediately.
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