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Dear Trump, The Moon Is Mine. Don't Even Think About Pounding It

From guest contributer Hunter Fox
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Earlier this afternoon, President Elect Donald J. Trump met with a number of tech executives, including Apple CEO Tim Cook, Amazon’s Jess Bezos and most notably, Tesla’s Elon Musk. Why this meeting is so pivotal and shocking is the fact that Elon Musk, founder and CEO of SpaceX, a aerospace engineering company, was seen in a private one on one meeting with Trump. While most media are reporting on what President Elect Trump said during the meeting, the main focus should be what wasn’t said during the meeting and was inferred with winks and subtle body language. Elon Musk, who is a well documented moon aficionado, was clearly tying to win the favor of his billionaire counterpart. Video of the meeting shows both men, casually hugging and resting their chins on each other’s shoulders during the eleven hour sit-down which was catered by Olive Garden. Musk, also was seen drawing diagrams of a personalized space suit that would be custom made to fit Mr. Trump’s hair and ego inside, without jeopardizing the chlorine gas that the president elect survives on. 

Evidence suggests the two men, both who have been seen on multiple occasions gazing up at the moon with flirtation, plan to launch a rocket as early as inauguration day. What should concern citizens is not only does Donald Trump have the funds but he now has the means to get himself to the moon and to enact his plan of interstellar lovemaking. I for one am appalled and worried that Donald Trump will succeed in his conquest of the moon, turning the virgin planet into another mistress for this billionaire. As a nation, we cannot watch idle as our president turns our beloved gleaming moon in the sky into another notch on his bedpost. The cherished rock that hovers above our world mustn’t be penetrated by a man who does not understand true and deep love. 

Since 2014, I have been unsuccessfully planning my own personal rocket launch to the moon, in hopes of pounding the cratered mass that floats in the sky (scientists still do not understand how it floats with ease through space). Alarmed with the news this morning of Donald Trump’s imminent plan to colonize the moon with his seed, I have pushed forward my own launch date. Only time will tell which one of us colossally strong men will whizz through our atmosphere and succeed in winning over the favor of our moon.

​Follow me at @HunterFoxBooks for more information.

Story: Hunter Fox
Editor: Hunter Fox 
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